LOVE SCARS

It is crazy how one experience can scar you and change you forever. I don’t know if I will ever be able to love again the way I did before. Listening to “Dynasty” by MIIA, every lyric hit the deepest core of my broken heart. It brought up all the emotions I used to feel when I was young and in love: that innocent girl who believed deeply in love and in a happy-ever-after.

On the night of 03/02/2026, when I listened to that song, all the emotions I had buried under my healing and resilience came back to the surface. I longed to be loved again. All the broken pieces I thought I had healed and moved on from started aching. They ached so badly. I felt something I thought had died with my recent relationship — pain.

I miss that version of myself. The one who still believed in love at first sight. The one who fought to make things better. The innocent version of me, who was willing to go the extra mile to fix what was broken. But the truth is… that side of me feels gone. I hate to admit it, but it feels like that side of me has died. I don’t know if I will ever become that version of myself again.

That one heartbreak broke down all my walls. A side of me died with that love.

Listening to that song takes me back to those happy memories — when everything was sweet, when one call could change my entire day, when I thought I had someone who would always hold me down. It brings me back to a time when I was ready to lose myself just to make someone else happy. I believed in us so much that I couldn’t see my future without him.

I thought we were building a dynasty that nothing could break. But I was wrong.

Now I don’t know how to feel love without fearing heartbreak, tears, and betrayal. Whenever a happy moment comes, I think about the pain I felt when it all fell apart. And I don’t know if I ever want to go back to that kind of pain.

Heartbreak breaks you from the inside. You cry about it. It doesn’t magically get better — you just learn to live with it. Sometimes it stops hurting. You bury it underneath your busy life. But one day, you see something or hear a song, and it brings back all those memories… all those feelings you buried.

Love cuts deep. It scars you forever.

One day, you learn to live with it. You will love, but not that much. You will be cautious. You will be happy, but not like the first time. You will heal, but the scar will stay with you. The old version of you that carried that pain will always exist somewhere inside.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I see that version of me. She is still sad, holding my heart in her hands. In that heart, I see all my hopes for love. All the dreams I had with that person. I see the laughter. The joy I thought I would never lose.

I see her telling me to keep moving forward, even when it hurts.

She is in her corner, alongside my other old selves. They are all scared — but beautiful. They hold their scars like armor. Sometimes I feel sad for them. Other times, I am proud of them. Because they fought through every heartbreak I went through, and they survived.

They made me who I am right now.